Holidays

What a day!  I spent six or seven hours at the theatre.  Janice helped me get 3 pipes hung and rough focused.  My legs hurt so bad from climbing up and down the ladder.  Tomorrow I have a meeting at the theatre, and then I hope I can plug in.  Otherwise I will wait until Monday and hope I can still have the stage all to myself.  It has been nice to have as much space as I need before the set goes up.  Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy putting everything together when the set goes up but, I like having all the room to work.  I'm super proud of myself too, because I was able to push my comfort level on the ladder which meant I got a lot more done with less climbing.

I enjoy feeling accomplished.  This next show is going to be my 11th in 3 years.  I can't believe I have done that many. 6 of them I have designed and 4 I have only run board.  This much time I have to design, just allows me to be uber creative.

I feel things falling in place, and that is a great feeling!  And I'm happy.  The family is complicated as always but more so because of the holidays.  I know that it is hard, but I really like my low key holiday.  I know that my family wants me home for the holidays, but I can't face the stress of being there, and that is a strength to know that about myself.

I am sorry for the hurt it causes my family for me not being there, but at what point do I get to be viewed as the adult I am and respected for my decision.  I am starting to think that all this is being put on me because I am the only single child left of the generation.  I don't know if it is expected of me to be with the family until I'm not married, but that just doesn't make sense to me.  I have spent my adult life living as far away from the family as possible.  I just can't get that my family can't let me be.  I am tired of being expected to live up to the rest of the family's expectations.